whatcha gonna do with all the junk in your front.

So.  Since I had the baby I’ve had all this extra....boob. 

So I’ve been struggling to find a bra.

During covid.

My fav bra store is gone. 

You can’t try stuff on.  

And well....yeah. 

So I’ve been trying to order online.  

Firstly, measurements are Chinese. And apparently no one in China has boobs.   Followed the directions to measure perfectly and this thing that arrived like somehow squished everything together and then over the sides.  The comments all somehow were raving about this bra.  It was terrible. 

The next attempt pushes everything up and under somehow.  Also, it’s sweaty.  Fail.  However all the comments again raved at the comfort of this thing. 

It’s terrible. 

So now I think I may have mutant boobs.  Time to really think outside the box. 

Finally, I tried those stick on things that are supposed to give you max cleavage and support even for larger chest sizes.   Watched the video.  Read the comments.   All seemed promising. 

They finally arrived.  

I couldn’t wait.  

Take them out of the package and apply like the girl in the video.  

So, the website said the sticky stuff was magical in its sticky power, it stayed on but also wasn’t painful to pull off.  

Ok. 

I put it on.  

Lies 

The sticky stuff just let go at the top.  

No support. 

I pull it off.  The magical no pain part. 

Lies 

the part that stuck around the more sensitive areas.  Let me tell you. 

Dear Jesus.  

I’m not gonna give up.  Maybe I applied it wrong.   

I adjust several more times.   

There is no way there will be support or super sticky power.  

Or cleavage. 

It’s been several hours and I still feel like I had a wax job on my chest.  

So.   

That happened.