Danger

I constantly amaze myself.  

To borrow the words of "Schmidt". Totally "crushed" it at work this week. And at life.  I should throw a "rebranding" party.  Themed, danger.  That's how awesome I did this week.  Or how I feel I did, rather.  

Crushed it. 

What's love got to do with it?

I'm not saying love is the key to an all powerful awesome life and if I figure that out I'm set and all stars will align and life will be perfect.  But, for me, I don't need much from someone.  I'm not as high maintenance as I like to pretend or wish I could be. I try to dream up ways to be vulnerable or have "needs so I can find someone to fulfill them". It's not me. I like being independent. I like being strong.  I like that I'm tough. I like that I can take on mountains.  That's just me. And if some guy finds that too intimidating, too bad. Find a different girl. 

I like that I have a girly side.  I'm quirky. I'm weird. I have a rabbit trail reasoning pattern that could take days to unravel.  But it's solid and just different. And I like that. It's part of the delight that is me. And yes, it requires some time.  That's what I need. Someone who takes the time to know me. That's in all honestly my need.  I know.  Life changing. Selling myself short? It's my need. Deal with it. I don't like pretending.  I've spent enough years trying to appear like someone I have been told would get a guy or make guys like me more, or what a man would not find intimidating, or generally, put up with.  I'm done. I'm awesome. I'm incredible. You won't find another like me. And I may think a little too much of myself, but I know what is inside and what potential I have and what I'm capable of.  Recognize son. (Yeah, that's special)  

I'm so glad no one reads my blog. 

If someone does. Please note I once needed someone else to order my food in a restaurant as I was too shy to speak up over the noise to order my food, I would change my personality to fit the situation and person I was with, I contemplated death regularly, and generally set out to change every thing about me because I hated everything about me. I've come a long way.  (I also really like how I write, I find myself to be amusing and charming) (wink) 

So love.